Hey there nine summertime readers. I'm Tom. I write this nonsense. I've been asked by Matt to contribute, and since I learnt how to share back in preschool, I was happy to help out. I hear he wants to turn this blog into a critical discourse on the state of modern music. Boring.
This is a series called 'Literal Lyrics'. Basically, I find the lyrics of a shitty pop song that is dominating the ARIA charts and I dissect them for the benefit of the listeners at home. It helps uncover the true meaning of these auto-tuned monstrosities. I plan to do it on a weekly basis.
This week's song is 'Russian Roulette' by Rihanna. Don't get me wrong, I think she's great. But only at dancing and singing. And getting punched in the face by her boyfriend. OH NO YOU DIDN'T! The song opens with some basic instructions on how to live.
Take a breath, take it deep
Calm yourself, he says to me
If you play, you play for keeps
Rihanna, you're hanging with the right crowd. These people have their head on right. Breathing, calmness, playing for keeps. Good on you girl.
Take a gun, and count to three
Jesus Christ! Rihanna, what the fuck is going on here? I take that back, these aren't nice people. Guns are not toys. Get out while you can!
I’m sweating now, moving slow
No time to think, my turn to go
No Rihanna, there is most definitely time to think. It doesn't have to be a long thought. A simple "I don't want to shoot myself in the face and die" will suffice. Also, I hate to point out the obvious, but if you're moving slow, then you're probably buying yourself those few seconds necessary to think about how much of a bad idea it is to play Russian Roulette.
And you can see my heart beating
You can see it through my chest
Now, either everyone is sitting too close or you're dangerously skinny. If people can see your heart beating, you've got some issues. I'm going to assume these same people that want you to play games of life and death are also encouraging your eating disorder. Rihanna, as much as I applaud you for leaving Chris Brown, perhaps you should reconsider your new choice of company.
And I’m terrified but I’m not leaving
Know that I must must pass this test
How topical. Is this song a metaphor for something? Perhaps a destructive relationship you had recently?
So just pull the trigger
Nooooooo! Rihannaaaaaaa!
Say a prayer to yourself
Oh thank God you're still alive. Get out now. Either you're going to die or you'll be an accessory to murder.
He says close your eyes
Sometimes it helps
And then I get a scary thought
Only now? You've just nearly killed yourself and now you're thinking scary thoughts? You're crazier than I thought Rihanna.
That he’s here means he’s never lost
That doesn't make him a winner. Nor does it make him a desirable partner. It most likely makes him a killer. Or at least a cheat. While I don't know how many games of Russian Roulette he's played (he does seem to have a lot of handy hints), I'm guessing the laws of probability would prohibit anyone from becoming too good at it without some element of rigging.
As with all pop songs, the chorus begins its monotonous repetition about here. Rihanna "pulls the trigger" two more times, so either there isn't a bullet in this revolver or they're playing with a machine gun. She does offer one more word of... warning, I suppose you could call it.
As my life flashes before my eyes
I'm wondering if I will ever see another sunrise
So many won't get the chance to say goodbye
But it's to late to think of the value of my life
Once again, I must point out that there is always time to think of the value of your life. You don't have to write an essay, just a brief "I have loved ones" would pretty much cover all the important arguments. This whole song is making me question Rihanna's sanity. She really doesn't seem to care much about her own safety, or how her death (read: suicide) might make people feel. Instead she worries about seeing the sunrise. Never mind how her parents would feel, or her legions of fans, or her friends. As long as you're impressing a boy by gambling with your own life, it's all good.
You know, Chris Brown may not have been the nicest guy, but I doubt he would have made you kill yourself to prove you like him. He wrote a song called 'Kiss Kiss' after all. Maybe you should give him another chance.
Read the full lyrics here
Listen to the song here.
I've been your literal DJ, here's something less dangerous than shooting yourself:
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